|A Gift From the Sea
Anne Morrow Lindbergh
One recognizes the truth of Saint Exupery's line: Love does not consist in
gazing at each other. But in looking outward together in the same direction.
For in fact, man and woman are not only looking outward in the same
direction, they are working outward. Here one forms ties, roots, a firm
Here one makes oneself part of the community of men, of human society.
Here the bonds of marriage are formed. For marriage, which is always
spoken of as a bond, becomes actually, in this stage, many bonds, many
strands, of different texture and strength, making up a web that is taut and
The web is fashioned of love.
Yes, but many kinds of love: romantic love first, then a slow-growing
devotion and, playing through these, a constantly rippling companionship.
It is made of loyalties, and interdependencies, and shared experiences. It
is woven of memories of meetings and conflicts; of triumphs and
It is a web of communication, a common language, and the acceptance of
lack of language too, a knowledge of likes and dislikes, of habits and
reactions, both physical and mental.
It is a web of instincts and intuitions, and known and unknown exchanges.
The web of marriage is made by propinquity, in the day to day living side
by side, looking outward and working outward in the same direction.
It is woven in space and in time of the substance of life itself.